https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/f2/de/6d/f2de6d3610642b866edcf76f7f86129a.jpg

https://cdn.meme.am/cache/instances/folder61/250x250/71896061.jpg

***NOTE*** - I did *not* take the one step I should have at this point - since there were existing publications on a different user database, I should have paused and considered what was wrong with *this particular database* rather than with the instance at large - it would have saved us roughly 24 hours.

http://fandompodcast.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/tune-in-tomorrow.jpg

https://imgflip.com/i/1mvtnu

SQL Server on Linux
By Steve Jones, 2015/12/25 (first published: 2005/04/01)

A previous April Fools joke, but one of my favorites. Enjoy it today on this holiday - Steve.

I can't believe it. My sources at Micrsoft put out the word late yesterday that there is a project underway to port SQL Server to Linux!!

The exclusive word I got through some close, anonymous sources is that Microsoft realizes that they cannot stamp out Linus. Unlike OS/2 and the expensive, high end Unices, Linux is here to stay. Because of the decentralized work on it, the religous-like fever of its followers, and the high performance that it offers, the big boys, maybe just one big boy, at Microsoft have given in to the fact that it will forever be nipping at the heals of Windows.

And they know that all the work being done on clients for Exchange means that many sites that might want to switch the desktop, may still keep the server on Exchange and have a rich client front end that takes the place of Outlook. But don't rule against Outlook making a run at the Linux platform.

SQL Server, however, is a true platform that doesn't need a client to run against. With SQL Server 2005 and it's CLR integration, the platform actually expands into the application server space and can support many web development systems on a single server, within two highly integrated applications: SQL Server and IIS.
And with MySQL nipping away at many smaller installations that might have switched to SQL Server before, it's time to do something. So a top secret effort has been porting the CLR using Mono, along with the core relational engine to the Linux platform. The storage engine requires a complete rewrite as the physical storage model of Linux is radially different from that of Windows.

Integration Services, the next evolution of DTS, has already been ported with some impressive numbers of throughput. Given that many different sources need a high quality ETL engine, and a SQL Server license to handle this is still cheaper than IBM's Information Integration product and most other tools, there's hope that Integration Services will provide the foothold into Linux.

No work on pricing, but from hallway conversation it's looking like there will be another tier of licensing that will be less expensive than the Workgroup edition without CALs. There is still supposed to be a small, free version without Integration Services that competes against many small LAMP installations.

There isn't a stable complete product yet, heck, we don't even have the Windows version, but our best guess is that a SQL Server 2005b for Linux will release sometime in mid to late 2006 and the two platforms will then synch development over the next SQL Server cycle.

Moving onto a free platform is a difficuly and challenging task. Especially when you are coming from the proprietary software world. But Microsoft did it once before by moving into the free world of the Internet and taking on Netscape. I'm betting they will do it again.

And I'm sure...
that SQL Server...
is the best...;

April Fools!!!

How to run SQL Server on Linux
Posted on April 1, 2011 by retracement

UPDATE 2011-04-10: PLEASE NOTE THIS WAS AN APRILS FOOL JOKE 🙂 

Well I have finally cracked it, after years of trying (and a little help from the R2 release) to get SQL Server to install and run happily on the Linux Platform. I could hardly believe it when it all came together, but I’m very pleased that it has. What is even more exciting is that the performance of the SQL Engine is going through the roof.

I am not entirely sure why this is, but I am assuming it is partly related to the capabilities of the EXT4 filesystem and the latest Linux Kernel improvements.

So here’s how I did it :-

• Install WINE 

• Install the .NET 3.5 framework into WINE. This is very important, otherwise the SQL Server 2008R2 installer will fail. 

• Change a couple of WINE settings to allow for 64bit M.U.G extensions. 

• Install the Application Release 1 for Linux Free Object Orientated Libraries by sudo apt-get install aP-R1l\ f-0Ol

Ensure that you run setup.exe from SQL Server R2 Enterprise Edition – please note that SQL Server 2008 Release 1.5 will not work, and I additionally had problems with the Standard Edition of R2 (but not entirely sure if there is a restriction here with SQL Standard Edition Licensing on  Linux).

SQL running happily in WINE on Linux Mint 10 (x64)

I think that the EXT4 filesystem is key to the success of your installation, since when I attempted this deployment using the EXT2 and EXT3 filesystems, SQL Server appeared to have issues installing.

I hope to provide more instructions and performance feedback to you all over the coming months. Enjoy!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tux

http://www.theecologist.org/siteimage/scale/800/600/388011.png

https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-TEjSrM9xdHA/Vr6kx1jKSeI/AAAAAAABBkI/B_dxYc8AX7Y/s1600/itdepends.jpg

https://catmacros.files.wordpress.com/2009/08/whoa_thats_epic_cat.jpg

Log Name:      Application
Source:        MSSQLSERVER
Date:          6/15/2017 4:49:59 AM
Event ID:      9003
Task Category: Server
Level:         Error
Keywords:      Classic
User:          N/A
Computer:      Server1.domain.net
Description:
The log scan number (139943:2168:0) passed to log scan in database 'DBStuff' is not valid. 

This error may indicate data corruption or that the log file (.ldf) does not match the data file (.mdf). 

If this error occurred during replication, re-create the publication. Otherwise, restore from backup if the problem results in a failure during startup.

http://www.scaryforkids.com/pics/scary-music.jpg

Msg 5901, Level 16, State 1, Line 1
One or more recovery units belonging to database 'DBStuff' failed to generate a checkpoint.  This is typically caused by lack of system resources such as disk or memory, or in some cases due to database corruption. Examine previous entries in the error log for more detailed information on this failure.

Msg 1823, Level 16, State 2, Line 1
A database snapshot cannot be created because it failed to start.

Msg 1823, Level 16, State 8, Line 1
A database snapshot cannot be created because it failed to start.

Msg 7928, Level 16, State 1, Line 1
The database snapshot for online checks could not be created. Either the reason is given in a previous error or one of the underlying volumes does not support sparse files or alternate streams. Attempting to get exclusive access to run checks offline.

Msg 5030, Level 16, State 12, Line 1
The database could not be exclusively locked to perform the operation.

Msg 7926, Level 16, State 1, Line 1
Check statement aborted. The database could not be checked as a database snapshot could not be created and the database or table could not be locked. See Books Online for details of when this behavior is expected and what workarounds exist. Also see previous errors for more details.

Msg 9003, Level 20, State 9, Line 1
The log scan number (139943:2168:0) passed to log scan in database 'DBStuff' is not valid.

This error may indicate data corruption or that the log file (.ldf) does not match the data file (.mdf).

If this error occurred during replication, re-create the publication. Otherwise, restore from backup if the problem results in a failure during startup.

http://s2.quickmeme.com/img/a6/a646c45633cfab95a2aaf727480883aba7de652148fb3601db61853a62d3b3da.jpg

SELECT name, log_reuse_wait_desc 

FROM sys.databases

WHERE name = N'DBStuff'

Microsoft SQL Server Management Studio is unable to access replication components because replication is not installed on this instance of SQL Server. For information about installing replication, see the topic Installing Replication in SQL Server Books Online. 

Replication components are not installed on this server. Run SQL Server Setup again and select the option to install replication. (Microsoft SQL Server, Error: 21028)

/*
https://www.mssqltips.com/sqlservertip/1510/script-to-determine-free-space-to-support-shrinking-sql-server-database-files/
*/
USE MASTER
GO  

CREATE TABLE #TMPFIXEDDRIVES (
DRIVE CHAR(1),
MBFREE INT)  

INSERT INTO #TMPFIXEDDRIVES
EXEC xp_FIXEDDRIVES  

CREATE TABLE #TMPSPACEUSED (
DBNAME VARCHAR(500),
FILENME VARCHAR(500),
SPACEUSED FLOAT)  

INSERT INTO #TMPSPACEUSED
EXEC( 'sp_msforeachdb''use [?]; Select ''''?'''' DBName, Name FileNme,
fileproperty(Name,''''SpaceUsed'''') SpaceUsed from sysfiles''')  

SELECT
C.DRIVE,
A.NAME AS DATABASENAME,
B.NAME AS FILENAME,
CASE B.TYPE
WHEN 0 THEN 'DATA'
ELSE TYPE_DESC
END AS FILETYPE,
CASE
WHEN (B.SIZE * 8 / 1024.0) > 1000
THEN CAST(CAST(((B.SIZE * 8 / 1024) / 1024.0) AS DECIMAL(18,2)) AS VARCHAR(20)) + ' GB'
ELSE CAST(CAST((B.SIZE * 8 / 1024.0) AS DECIMAL(18,2)) AS VARCHAR(20)) + ' MB'
END AS FILESIZE,
CASE
WHEN (B.SIZE * 8 / 1024.0) - (D.SPACEUSED / 128.0) > 1000
THEN CAST(CAST((((B.SIZE * 8 / 1024.0) - (D.SPACEUSED / 128.0)) / 1024.0) AS DECIMAL(18,2)) AS VARCHAR(20)) + ' GB'
ELSE CAST(CAST((((B.SIZE * 8 / 1024.0) - (D.SPACEUSED / 128.0))) AS DECIMAL(18,2)) AS VARCHAR(20)) + ' MB'
END AS SPACEFREE,
B.PHYSICAL_NAME
FROM SYS.DATABASES A
JOIN SYS.MASTER_FILES B
ON A.DATABASE_ID = B.DATABASE_ID
JOIN #TMPFIXEDDRIVES C
ON LEFT(B.PHYSICAL_NAME,1) = C.DRIVE
JOIN #TMPSPACEUSED D
ON A.NAME = D.DBNAME
AND B.NAME = D.FILENME
WHERE a.database_id>4
--and DRIVE = 'F'
ORDER BY (B.SIZE * 8 / 1024.0) - (D.SPACEUSED / 128.0) DESC

DROP TABLE #TMPFIXEDDRIVES  

DROP TABLE #TMPSPACEUSED

http://s2.quickmeme.com/img/16/167911b7d66e2736356e5680d23bc9d5111120af5aada10bdb714c70874cc3b1.jpg

https://cdn.meme.am/cache/instances/folder589/500x/64701589/grumpy-cat-5-trust-but-verify.jpg

https://cdn.meme.am/cache/instances/folder809/66278809.jpg

https://cdn.meme.am/cache/instances/folder686/500x/64677686/willy-wonka-trust-but-verify.jpg

https://imgflip.com/i/1sc4nl

• Verify your backup jobs are running, and then run test restores to make sure the backup files are good.
• Verify your SQL Server services are running (when they're supposed to be)
• Verify your databases are online (again, when they're supposed to be)
• Verify your logins and users have the appropriate security access (#SysadminIsNotAnAppropriateDefault)
• Read through your code and that of your peers - don't just trust the syntax checker!
• When you find code online in a blog or a Microsoft forum, read through it and check it - don't just blindly execute it because it was written by a Microsoft employee or an MVP - they're all human too! (This almost bit me once on an old forum post where thankfully I did read through the code before I pushed Execute - the post was two years old with hundreds of reads so it would be fine, right?  There was a pretty simple mistake in the WHERE clause and none of the hundreds of readers had seen it or been polite enough to point it out to the author!)
• Run periodic checks to make sure all of your Perfmon traces (you are running Perfmon traces, right?), Windows Tasks, SQL Agent Jobs, XEvents sessions, etc. are installed properly and configured with the current settings - just because the instance has a job named "Online Status Check" on it doesn't mean the version is anything like your current code!

http://blog.idonethis.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/yoda.jpg

https://www.newslinq.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/table.png

/*
Object Sizes
Modified from http://stackoverflow.com/questions/15896564/get-table-and-index-storage-size-in-sql-server
*/
SELECT TOP 50
@@SERVERNAME as InstanceName
, DB_NAME() as DatabaseName
, s.NAME AS SchemaName
, t.NAME  AS TableName
, SUM(p.rows) AS RowCounts
--, SUM(a.total_pages) * 8 AS TotalSpaceKB
, SUM(a.total_pages) * 8/1024.0 AS TotalSpaceMB
, SUM(a.total_pages) * 8/1024.0/1024.0 AS TotalSpaceGB
, SUM(a.used_pages) * 8/1024.0 AS UsedSpaceMB
, (SUM(a.total_pages) - SUM(a.used_pages)) * 8/1024.0 AS UnusedSpaceMB
FROM sys.tables t
INNER JOIN sys.schemas s
ON s.schema_id = t.schema_id
INNER JOIN sys.indexes i
ON t.OBJECT_ID = i.object_id
INNER JOIN sys.partitions p
ON i.object_id = p.OBJECT_ID AND i.index_id = p.index_id
INNER JOIN sys.allocation_units a
ON p.partition_id = a.container_id
WHERE t.NAME NOT LIKE 'dt%'   -- filter out system tables for diagramming
AND t.is_ms_shipped = 0
AND i.OBJECT_ID > 255
GROUP BY t.Name
, s.Name
ORDER BY TotalSpaceMB DESC

https://cdn.meme.am/cache/instances/folder984/400x/59300984.jpg

Log Name:      System
Source:        User32
Date:          7/22/2017 8:31:08 AM
Event ID:      1074
Task Category: None
Level:         Information
Keywords:      Classic
User:          SYSTEM
Computer:      NODE01.COMPANY1.com
Description:
The process C:\Program Files\Application12\AppAgent\01\patch\ApplicationService.exe (NODE01) has initiated the restart of computer NODE01 on behalf of user NT AUTHORITY\SYSTEM for the following reason: Legacy API shutdown
Reason Code: 0x80070000
Shutdown Type: restart
Comment: The Update Agent will now reboot this machine

https://i.imgflip.com/w6x8g.jpg

Date       7/24/2017 1:09:23 AM
Log        SQL Server (Current - 7/24/2017 12:59:00 PM)
Source     Backup
Message    Error: 3041, Severity: 16, State: 1. 

-- 

Date       7/24/2017 1:09:23 AM
Log        SQL Server (Current - 7/24/2017 12:59:00 PM)
Source     Backup
Message    BACKUP failed to complete the command BACKUP DATABASE AG_DATABASE22. Check the backup application log for detailed messages. 

-- 

Date       7/24/2017 1:09:23 AM
Log        SQL Server (Current - 7/24/2017 12:59:00 PM)
Source     spid269
Message    FastCompression Alert: 62301 : SQL Server has returned a failure message to LiteSpeed™ for SQL Server® which has prevented the operation from succeeding.
The following message is not a LiteSpeed™ for SQL Server® message. Please refer to SQL Server books online or Microsoft technical support for a solution:  
BACKUP DATABASE is terminating abnormally. This BACKUP or RESTORE command is not supported on a database mirror or secondary replica. 

-- 

Date       7/24/2017 1:09:24 AM
Log        SQL Server (Current - 7/24/2017 12:59:00 PM)
Source     spid258
Message    Error: Maintenance plan 'Maint Backup User Databases'.LiteSpeed™ for SQL Server® 8.2.1.42
© 2016 Dell Inc.
           Selecting full backup: Maximum interval (7 days) has elapsed since last full
Executing SQLLitespeed.exe: Write new full backup \\adcnas21\SQL\NODE01\AG_DATABASE22\AG_DATABASE22.litespeed.f22.bkp
           Msg 62301, Level 16, State 1, Line 0: SQL Server has returned a failure message to LiteSpeed™ for SQL Server® which has prevented the operation from succeeding.
The following message is not a LiteSpeed™ for SQL Server® message. Please refer to SQL Server books online or Microsoft technical support for a solution:
           BACKUP DATABASE is terminating abnormally.
This BACKUP or RESTORE command is not supported on a database mirror or secondary replica.

SELECT AG.name AS AvailabilityGroupName,
HAGS.primary_replica AS PrimaryReplicaName, 
HARS.role_desc as LocalReplicaRoleDesc, 
DRCS.database_name AS DatabaseName, 
HDRS.synchronization_state_desc as SynchronizationStateDesc, 
HDRS.is_suspended AS IsSuspended, 
DRCS.is_database_joined AS IsJoined
FROM master.sys.availability_groups AS AG
LEFT OUTER JOIN master.sys.dm_hadr_availability_group_states as HAGS
ON AG.group_id = HAGS.group_id
INNER JOIN master.sys.availability_replicas AS AR
ON AG.group_id = AR.group_id
INNER JOIN master.sys.dm_hadr_availability_replica_states AS HARS
ON AR.replica_id = HARS.replica_id 
AND HARS.is_local = 1
INNER JOIN master.sys.dm_hadr_database_replica_cluster_states AS DRCS
ON HARS.replica_id = DRCS.replica_id
LEFT OUTER JOIN master.sys.dm_hadr_database_replica_states AS HDRS
ON DRCS.replica_id = HDRS.replica_id
AND DRCS.group_database_id = HDRS.group_database_id
ORDER BY AG.name, DRCS.database_name

https://memegenerator.net/instance/65795220/grumpy-cat-5-bottleneck-sighting-optimize-the-system

• CPU
• Memory
• I/O (Disk)

...until you realize the instance is still "slow."

https://hakanforss.files.wordpress.com/2014/08/lawofbottlenecks.png

You look at the numbers again, and now you find that disk latency, which had previously been fine, is now completely in the tank during the business day, showing that I/O delays are through the roof.

How do you ever defeat a bad guy that constantly moves around and frequently changes form?

https://movietalkexpress.files.wordpress.com/2016/08/3.jpg

The next concept in this series is the concept of "good enough" - all computing systems have theoretical top speeds (speed of electrons through the ether, etc.) but you never get there.  At the end of the day the important question is:

Unfortunately in many cases the answer seems to be this:

https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--Wtfu6LxV--/c_fill,fl_progressive,g_center,h_450,q_80,w_800/1344998898279631762.jpg

--

Once you can determine this "good enough" speed (the whole discussion of  "Do you have SLAs?" could fill dozens of blog posts) you can determine where an acceptable end point is to your iterative process.

--

On this instance you can see that the SPARE-01 and DATA01 mount points on the F: drive have significant overall latency (64ms and 25ms respectively) - significant enough that the users are almost certainly experiencing I/O-related impact.

If you look at the query you will see that the "overall" latency covers both reads and writes and as such is functionally a weighted average of the read and write latencies.  For example you can see that the DATA01 does significantly more reads that writes since the overall latency of 25 is almost equal to the read latency of 26.

One more point from the sample numbers above - look at the T: drive.  The write latency is 25 (bad) but the overall latency is only 3.  Is this a problem?  Usually it is not, because this overall latency shows that this drive does relatively few writes - there are so many reads comparatively that the good read latency heavily outweighs the bad write latency.  In most cases the overall latency is the most important statistic of the three.

(Of course as always this is a big #ItDepends - if you have a known issue with write performance - even for the small number of writes being done on the drive - then the write latency is important!)

--

What causes latency?  There are a wide variety of issues - some inside SQL but many outside the engine as well.  In my experience I usually follow-up on both sides, tasking infrastructure teams to investigate numbers on the storage back-end *and* the storage network while the DBA investigates SQL Server-side I/O-related issues such as poor query plans and missing or bad indexes that cause excessive unnecessary I/O.  Sometimes you will read guidance to investigate SQL first (Paul makes that recommendation in his post referenced above) but I like starting both investigations at once so that you can get both sets of results in a more timely fashion.

Disk Latency is one of the easiest things to find - run the single simple query shown above and look at the numbers.  Once you determine that you *do* have a latency issue, you can move forward with internal SQL Server and external infrastructure investigations.

--

Remember - at the end of the day, you want your customer to think this:

http://imgur.com/waLAsxg

--

Hope this helps!

Getting Started with Extended Events
Speaker: Andy Galbraith
Duration: 60 minutes
Track: Administration

Few subjects in Microsoft SQL Server inspire the same amount of Fear, Uncertainty, and Doubt (FUD) as Extended Events.  Many DBA's continue to use Profiler and SQL Trace even though they have been deprecated for years.  Why is this?

Extended Events started out in SQL Server 2008 with no user interface and only a few voices in the community documenting the features as they found them.  Since then it has blossomed into a full feature of SQL Server and an amazingly low-impact replacement for Profiler and Trace.

Come learn how to get started - the basics of sessions, events, actions, targets, packages, and more.  We will look at some base scenarios where Extended Events can be very useful as well as considering a few gotchas along the way.  You may never go back to Profiler again!

The Complete Primer to SQL Server Infrastructure and Cloud
David Klee
Level: Intermediate
--
Powering Up with Power BI
Brian Larson, John Thompson...
Level: Beginner
--
DBA Fundamentals - give yourself a solid SQL foundation!
Kevin Hill
Level: Beginner
--
Azure Data Services Hands On Lab
Matt Stenzel
Level: Intermediate

https://media.tenor.com/images/aa1e9033238489da177267cb6a8af273/tenor.gif

https://memegenerator.net/img/instances/400x/59507872/you-get-a-deadlock-everybody-gets-a-deadlock.jpg

https://i-technet.sec.s-msft.com/dynimg/IC4289.gif

https://cdn.meme.am/instances/27106434/no-job-because-no-experience-no-experience-because-no-job.jpg

By default, the Database Engine chooses as the deadlock victim the session running the transaction that is least expensive to roll back. Alternatively, a user can specify the priority of sessions in a deadlock situation using the SET DEADLOCK_PRIORITY statement. DEADLOCK_PRIORITY can be set to LOW, NORMAL, or HIGH, or alternatively can be set to any integer value in the range (-10 to 10). The deadlock priority defaults to NORMAL. If two sessions have different deadlock priorities, the session with the lower priority is chosen as the deadlock victim. If both sessions have the same deadlock priority, the session with the transaction that is least expensive to roll back is chosen. If sessions involved in the deadlock cycle have the same deadlock priority and the same cost, a victim is chosen randomly.

https://www.toonpool.com/user/589/files/living_in_the_past_333905.jpg

<deadlock>

  <victim-list>

    <victimProcess id="process5776a5498" />

  </victim-list>

  <process-list>

    <process id="process5776a5498" taskpriority="0" logused="0" waitresource="KEY: 19:72057594040745984 (9ba325989765)" waittime="4168" ownerId="327954909" transactionname="SELECT" lasttranstarted="2017-10-17T17:21:04.417" XDES="0x50560f9d0" lockMode="S" schedulerid="1" kpid="3756" status="suspended" spid="64" sbid="0" ecid="0" priority="0" trancount="0" lastbatchstarted="2017-10-17T17:21:04.417" lastbatchcompleted="2017-10-17T17:21:03.293" lastattention="1900-01-01T00:00:00.293" hostpid="4012" loginname="Login1" isolationlevel="read committed (2)" xactid="327954909" currentdb="19" lockTimeout="4294967295" clientoption1="671088672" clientoption2="128056">

      <executionStack>

        <frame procname="adhoc" line="1" sqlhandle="0x0200000096663f042d323a9d19c06335abb6318e18e6f8750000000000000000000000000000000000000000">

SELECT dbo.Fred_Table7.ObjectID FROM dbo.Fred_Table7 WHERE (dbo.Fred_Table7.ObjectID not  in (23) AND dbo.Fred_Table7.ObjectID &lt;= 4294966615 AND (dbo.Fred_Table7.LastModifyTime &gt;CAST('2017 10 17 20 08 18 115' AS VARBINARY(32)) OR dbo.Fred_Table7.LastModifyTime =CAST('2017 10 17 20 08 18 115' AS VARBINARY(32)) AND dbo.Fred_Table7.ObjectID &gt; 2404307) AND (dbo.Fred_Table7.SI_INSTANCE_OBJECT = 0 AND dbo.Fred_Table7.SI_RUNNABLE_OBJECT = 0  OR (dbo.Fred_Table7.SI_INSTANCE_OBJECT = 1 OR dbo.Fred_Table7.SI_RUNNABLE_OBJECT = 1)  AND dbo.Fred_Table7.SI_RUNNABLE_OBJECT = 0 AND dbo.Fred_Table7.ScheduleStatus = 1) AND dbo.Fred_Table7.TypeID in (2, 8, 21, 67, 68, 260, 261, 262, 266, 267, 270, 271, 272, 277, 279, 281, 282, 289, 295, 301, 337, 338, 339, 340, 343, 349, 351, 355, 358, 361, 365, 368, 372, 373, 379, 385, 387, 389, 391, 394, 396, 407, 408, 414, 415, 430, 431) AND (SI_PLUGIN_OBJECT = 0) AND dbo.Fred_Table7.SI_HIDDEN_OBJECT = 0) ORDER BY dbo    </frame>

      </executionStack>

      <inputbuf>

SELECT dbo.Fred_Table7.ObjectID FROM dbo.Fred_Table7 WHERE (dbo.Fred_Table7.ObjectID not  in (23) AND dbo.Fred_Table7.ObjectID &lt;= 4294966615 AND (dbo.Fred_Table7.LastModifyTime &gt;CAST('2017 10 17 20 08 18 115' AS VARBINARY(32)) OR dbo.Fred_Table7.LastModifyTime =CAST('2017 10 17 20 08 18 115' AS VARBINARY(32)) AND dbo.Fred_Table7.ObjectID &gt; 2404307) AND (dbo.Fred_Table7.SI_INSTANCE_OBJECT = 0 AND dbo.Fred_Table7.SI_RUNNABLE_OBJECT = 0  OR (dbo.Fred_Table7.SI_INSTANCE_OBJECT = 1 OR dbo.Fred_Table7.SI_RUNNABLE_OBJECT = 1)  AND dbo.Fred_Table7.SI_RUNNABLE_OBJECT = 0 AND dbo.Fred_Table7.ScheduleStatus = 1) AND dbo.Fred_Table7.TypeID in (2, 8, 21, 67, 68, 260, 261, 262, 266, 267, 270, 271, 272, 277, 279, 281, 282, 289, 295, 301, 337, 338, 339, 340, 343, 349, 351, 355, 358, 361, 365, 368, 372, 373, 379, 385, 387, 389, 391, 394, 396, 407, 408, 414, 415, 430, 431) AND (SI_PLUGIN_OBJECT = 0) AND dbo.Fred_Table7.SI_HIDDEN_OBJECT = 0) ORDER BY db   </inputbuf>

    </process>

    <process id="process1b9313868" taskpriority="0" logused="284" waitresource="KEY: 19:72057594041008128 (1679744d2988)" waittime="4168" ownerId="327954910" transactionname="implicit_transaction" lasttranstarted="2017-10-17T17:21:04.417" XDES="0x57788c3a8" lockMode="X" schedulerid="2" kpid="11128" status="suspended" spid="60" sbid="0" ecid="0" priority="0" trancount="2" lastbatchstarted="2017-10-17T17:21:04.417" lastbatchcompleted="2017-10-17T17:21:04.417" lastattention="1900-01-01T00:00:00.417" hostpid="4012" loginname="Login1" isolationlevel="read committed (2)" xactid="327954910" currentdb="19" lockTimeout="4294967295" clientoption1="671088672" clientoption2="128058">

      <executionStack>

        <frame procname="adhoc" line="1" stmtstart="86" sqlhandle="0x0200000011d6ca3a9ba3506e8d74888b6554043825c5204e0000000000000000000000000000000000000000">

UPDATE dbo.Fred_Table7 SET Version = @P1, LastModifyTime = @P2 WHERE ObjectID = @P3 AND Version = @P4    </frame>

        <frame procname="unknown" line="1" sqlhandle="0x0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000">

unknown    </frame>

      </executionStack>

      <inputbuf>

(@P1 int,@P2 varbinary(32),@P3 int,@P4 int)UPDATE dbo.Fred_Table7 SET Version = @P1, LastModifyTime = @P2 WHERE ObjectID = @P3 AND Version = @P4   </inputbuf>

    </process>

  </process-list>

  <resource-list>

    <keylock hobtid="72057594040745984" dbid="19" objectname="Database12.dbo.Fred_Table7" indexname="ObjectID_I7" id="lock52e379a80" mode="X" associatedObjectId="72057594040745984">

      <owner-list>

        <owner id="process1b9313868" mode="X" />

      </owner-list>

      <waiter-list>

        <waiter id="process5776a5498" mode="S" requestType="wait" />

      </waiter-list>

    </keylock>

    <keylock hobtid="72057594041008128" dbid="19" objectname="Database12.dbo.Fred_Table7" indexname="LastModifyTime_I7" id="lock35b41fa80" mode="S" associatedObjectId="72057594041008128">

      <owner-list>

        <owner id="process5776a5498" mode="S" />

      </owner-list>

      <waiter-list>

        <waiter id="process1b9313868" mode="X" requestType="wait" />

      </waiter-list>

    </keylock>

  </resource-list>

</deadlock>

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_KyTS_XQfpkA/TGHAMAdjUjI/AAAAAAAAEx4/xLZ0dYgTt1g/s1600/HaHaNo.jpg

/*

SQL Server Deadlock Graph Extraction from Ring Buffer

SQL Server 2008/2008R2

Modified from https://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/1399315/System-health-extended-event-session-does-not-capture-latest-deadlocks?PageIndex=1

*/

;WITH SystemHealth

AS (

   SELECT 

      CAST ( target_data AS xml ) AS SessionXML

   FROM 

      sys.dm_xe_session_targets st

   INNER JOIN 

      sys.dm_xe_sessions s 

   ON 

      s.[address] = st.event_session_address

   WHERE 

      name = 'system_health'

)

SELECT 

   Deadlock.value ( '@timestamp', 'datetime' ) AS DeadlockDateTime

,   CAST ( Deadlock.value ( '(data/value)[1]', 'Nvarchar(max)' ) AS XML ) AS DeadlockGraph

FROM 

   SystemHealth s

CROSS APPLY 

   SessionXML.nodes ( '//RingBufferTarget/event' ) AS t (Deadlock)

WHERE 

   Deadlock.value ( '@name', 'nvarchar(128)' ) = N'xml_deadlock_report'

ORDER BY

   Deadlock.value ( '@timestamp', 'datetime' );

/*

SQL Server Deadlock Graph Extraction from Ring Buffer

SQL Server 2012+

Modified from https://www.red-gate.com/simple-talk/sql/database-administration/handling-deadlocks-in-sql-server/

*/

SELECT  XEvent.query('(event/data/value/deadlock)[1]') AS DeadlockGraph

FROM    ( SELECT    XEvent.query('.') AS XEvent

          FROM      ( SELECT    CAST(target_data AS XML) AS TargetData

                      FROM      sys.dm_xe_session_targets st

                                JOIN sys.dm_xe_sessions s

                                 ON s.address = st.event_session_address

                      WHERE     s.name = 'system_health'

                                AND st.target_name = 'ring_buffer'

                    ) AS Data

                    CROSS APPLY TargetData.nodes

                  ('RingBufferTarget/event[@name="xml_deadlock_report"]')

                    AS XEventData ( XEvent )

        ) AS src;   

--

Another awesome change in SQL 2012+ is that the System_Health session now writes to a file target as well as the ring buffer memory target.  This is cool because the files persist more data than can be maintained in the ring buffer, giving you more history.  Retrieving data from the XEL files requires a different query, which is set up to dynamically read the XEL files from your default LOG path, wherever it may be:

--

/*

SQL Server Deadlock Graph Extraction from XEL file target

SQL Server 2012+

http://www.sqlservercentral.com/blogs/sql-geek/2017/10/07/extracting-deadlock-information-using-system_health-extended-events/

*/

CREATE TABLE #errorlog (LogDate DATETIME , ProcessInfo VARCHAR(100), [Text] VARCHAR(MAX))

DECLARE @tag VARCHAR (MAX) , @path VARCHAR(MAX);

INSERT INTO #errorlog EXEC sp_readerrorlog;

SELECT @tag = text

FROM #errorlog 

WHERE [Text] LIKE 'Logging%MSSQL\Log%';

DROP TABLE #errorlog;

SET @path = SUBSTRING(@tag, 38, CHARINDEX('MSSQL\Log', @tag) - 29);

SELECT 

CONVERT(xml, event_data).query('/event/data/value/child::*') AS DeadlockReport,

CONVERT(xml, event_data).value('(event[@name="xml_deadlock_report"]/@timestamp)[1]', 'datetime') 

AS Execution_Time

FROM sys.fn_xe_file_target_read_file(@path + '\system_health*.xel', NULL, NULL, NULL)

WHERE OBJECT_NAME like 'xml_deadlock_report';

--

As an example, here is the output of the  ring buffer query versus the file target (XEL) query on a given server:

The file target has six times as much history as the ring buffer (in this case) - you should "always" see the same or more data in the XEL files than the ring buffer.

--

All of these scripts return an XML output like the XML shown above - it doesn't return a graph directly.

https://memegenerator.net/img/instances/71836370/say-whaaat.jpg

To get the graph is pretty straightforward - once you know how.  Open the XML document, either by clicking the link in the resultset or by copy-pasting the XML into the text editor of your choice: